Expecting: to anticipate the birth of ones child; to be pregnant with a due date of February 3, 2011.
If you hadn't guessed it by now, WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!
This amazing news came 4 short months after our first child was stillborn in January. And while we still mourn her loss, we are looking with hopeful eyes towards the future.
How I Found Out: Steve and I decided after losing our daughter that we wouldn't prevent anything, as my doctor told me it might be best to allow my body to regulate my hormones naturally without the pill, but that we wouldn't actively try (ie-counting days, using ovulation kits, etc.). We decided to leave it in God's hands and let things happen naturally, and surprise! He decided not to keep us waiting long!
The news came at the end of a very long, hectic, but wonderful couple of days: We packed up our apartment at Purdue and moved (by ourselves) with a cargo van to a new apartment in Chicago. While this seemed like a good--and cheap!--idea at the time, we quickly learned that it was exhausting and difficult. After literally moving nonstop for about 24 hours, 50 elevator rides, locking the ONLY set of keys in the cargo van, waiting over an hour for AAA to save us, 2 trips to Chicago and 2 return trips to Purdue, we decided we needed more driving and moving! The next morning, Steve drove to Indianapolis (about an hour away) to pick up a weight set he bought off Craigslist, drove back to Purdue, picked me up along with a few odds and ends, drove to Chicago to drop some things off, unpacked for an hour or so, got back in the car and made an 8 hour road trip home to Ohio. (Phew!)
That weekend, I was in a friend's wedding, so I got up early the next morning and was off getting my dress altered, attending the bachelorette party, making floral arrangements, running errands, making chocolate covered strawberries by the millions, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner--you know, the typical duties of a bridesmaid. After the wedding was over, Steve and I were beyond exhausted but made our trip BACK to Chicago and collapsed.
The first night we spent in our new place was good, but I awoke the next morning with a migraine. This pattern continued for the next week and I had one so badly that I could barely move from the bed except to run to the bathroom to get sick. Having battled with these my whole life, I wasn't too off put by the sickness, but Steve knew something was up. (Especially because my period was still a week away and my breasts were swollen and unusually tender). He kept kidding with me telling me "oh you're just pregnant, stop whining!" I, of course, didn't believe him and he, I don't think, didn't believe himself either! I kept putting the idea out of my head and ignoring the now obvious signs.
Finally, the morning of May 27th (the start date of my period), I allowed myself to daydream while laying in bed trying to get over the migraine that had yet again graced me upon waking. I kept my eyes closed while I fantasized about what my husband kept joking about with me." Could I be pregnant? No, I dare not let myself dream. But if I am, I wonder how far along, or when the baby might be due." My lips involuntarily drew upwards in a great big smile as my heart started beating faster. My eyes fluttered open and I walked dizzily towards the bathroom where I pulled out a pregnancy test from the arsenal we had acquired over the past several months. I took the test groggily and kept telling myself "you're not pregnant, don't be disappointed." I set the test down and looked at it a moment, read the package for what means pregnant and went to the kitchen to get breakfast. A few minutes later, I realized the test was just waiting in the bathroom to tell me the news. I finished eating and with my heart skipping a beat I looked down at the white plastic stick. There, in front of my eyes, was a faint blue line in the results window. For a few minutes, I stopped--my head stopped thinking, my heart stopped beating, everything was quiet, and the world started spinning around me as I unknowingly started jumping up and down, giggling, and crying.
Because the line was faint, I immediately ran to the Internet and started researching whether this meant I was pregnant or if it was a bad test. Everything I read from experts said that I was more than likely pregnant but to wait a few days and test again to make sure. If you know me at all, you know there is no way I could keep from telling Steve for a few days--absolutely no way! So, I kept researching and dreaming and hoping. The rest of my day was spent smiling nonstop, researching possible due dates, where the baby is developmentally, and planning.
God knows what you need and when you need it. Although Steve and I have been through a heartbreaking, gut wrenching couple of months this year, it looks like 2010 will turn out to be a blessed and beautiful year after all! God could not have planned for me to find out at a better time than that day. Even though I questioned so many things because of our devastating loss, my faith has been restored because of that faint blue line on a piece of plastic.
No comments:
Post a Comment