5 Weeks

This week, Baby Lauer is the size of an apple seed or a sesame seed.

How Far Along? : Yesterday, June 3rd, marked 5 weeks!

(5 week belly bump coming soon!!!)

Baby's Development This Week : This week, Baby Lauer looks like a little tadpole. (S)he's starting to form major organs such as the heart, kidney, liver, and stomach. Also, major systems are starting to form such as the nervous, circulatory, and digestive systems. Because (s)he's growing so fast, the heart will actually start beating and pumping blood later this week! Grow, baby, grow! :)

Maternity Clothes? : None, although with the bloating I'm wearing my sweat pants a lot more often!

Stretch Marks? : Still way too early for this! (I hope!!!)

Best Moment this Week : Telling our parents about the sweet, little Peanut to-be! :)

Symptoms : No huge difference from last week. Mornings and nights are when it hits the most and nonstop migraines. Still running to the bathroom at least every 20 minutes - a lot of cramps have been plaguing me this week. :( The hormones are still raging out of control - I'm looking forward to evening out.

Movement : Again, still too early, but I'm looking forward to the first kick from our baby!

Food Cravings : Last week, I was shying away from spices and this week, I'm craving it! 

Aversions : Still saying no to pickles! I'm a lot hungrier this week, so I'm not staying too far away from any kind of food. :)

Gender : We still have no idea, but are SO looking forward to finding that out in 10 weeks!

Sleep : Still having a hard time sleeping at night - it's so frustrating to wake up feeling exhausted, sore, and cranky! 

What I Miss : Sleep, regular hormones, Excedrin (the only pills that make my migraines go away!). Oh well, it's all worth it :)

What I am Looking Forward To : Still so many things! I'm really excited about the doctor's appointment this upcoming week - I'm praying that the doctor gives both momma and baby a clean bill of health. (Not looking forward to the grueling tests and questions, but it's for a good cause!) Looking forward to the first ultrasound and for both Steve & I to see our beautiful new little miracle :)

Weekly Wisdom : Trying to stay positive is still the best thing I can do for myself and this sweet little guy in my stomach. I'm also trying to control these raging hormones!

Milestones : Well, we made it to week 5 and I'd say that's a pretty great milestone!

4 Weeks

This week, Baby Lauer is the size of a poppy seed.

How Far Along : 4 weeks - 1 month!

( Baby 'bump' at exactly 4 weeks into the pregnancy!
It's so hard for me to believe that there's a little baby in there!!! )

Maternity Clothes? : Hopefully, we're still a long way from this!

Stretch Marks? : Again, let's hope this comes a long while from now :)

Best Moment this Week : Finding out that Steve & I are expecting a baby!!!!!!! Dreaming, planning, thinking, hoping, and praying about the tiny little child in our future :) (who just happens to be making a home for his- or herself in my tummy right now!)

Symptoms : Morning and night sickness - thankfully, it seems to take a break during noon! I never thought I would be thanking God while hanging over the toilet. I've been having a ton of air bubbles in my tummy, daily migraines, I'm exhausted, and smells are really getting to me. I pee at least every 30 minutes and usually it's about every 10-15 minutes. My bladder must be the size of the baby right now! (Also, my hormones are kickin' it into high gear - poor Steve!)

Movement : None, other than the air bubbles moving around like crazy in there!

Food Cravings : I've been kind of shying away from food lately because of the morning/night sickness, so the only thing I'm craving is to eat a meal without it making me sick.

Aversions : Rich foods, especially ice cream - which is a total bummer! I thought pregnant women craved ice cream! I'm staying away from anything spicy or really heavy. (Btw, I will never fit into the stereotype of craving pickles - can you say d.i.s.g.u.s.t.i.n.g?!)

Gender : No idea as of yet! Steve and I fantasize about having a boy first, so our next child can have a big brother. But, believe me, we will be ecstatic with a girl too!

Sleep : If you know me, you know that sleep and I are the best of friends. I could be wired and once my head hits the pillow, I'm out. (This fact frustrates Steve because he'll be tired and ask me to come to bed with him and even though I'm wide awake, I do. He'll lay there, no sign of the sandman in sight, exhausted - and I'll be well into my first dream!) But lately, this is not at all the case. I toss and turn, my back aches, I can't get comfortable and when I'm finally sleeping, my bladder wakes me up and I run to the bathroom. So frustrating!

What I miss : Other than good sleep, nothing! This is a blessing and I am thrilled!

What I am looking forward to : So many things!!!! Our first prenatal visit is June 9th, and I'm hoping the baby's heart will be pumping by then so we can see it! I'm looking forward to reaching week 5, I'm so looking forward to week 15 when we find out whether we're having a bouncing baby boy, or a gorgeous baby girl! I'm looking forward to feeling his/her first kick, the first ultrasound, hearing the baby's heartbeat. And I'm SO looking forward to telling Steve's parents!!!! (That's another post!)

Weekly Wisdom : I'm quickly learning that even from one pregnancy to the next, things are drastically different. I'm feeling all new things this time around, new symptoms, new emotions - everything is different! Being positive is the best thing I can be in light of how our last pregnancy ended. I'm worried out of my mind right now, but am trying so hard to remember that every pregnancy is different. (And no ice cream right before bed!)

Milestones : The biggest milestone is the most obvious one of the week - just finding out that Steve and I have been blessed with a little bun in the oven is a huge deal! I cannot wait to see how this pregnancy transpires.

Steve's Surprise

So my last post was all about how I found out, and this one is about how I surprised Steve with the big news.

First of all, I have to give myself some major credit for not calling him at work and blurting it out over the phone as soon as I was thinking straight. I kept myself busy reading all about what was going on with the baby developmentally and looking into doctors that I was able to keep my mouth shut--barely. Steve sent several text messages to me throughout the day just to say hello and that he loves me, etc, to which I replied making sure the word "baby" got slipped into the text each and every time.

The day flew by and before I knew it, it was 3 o'clock and Steve would be home in a few hours! Because of the way we both found out about our previous pregnancy (a story for another day), I wanted to make sure that this would be a special, beautiful memory that we could proudly tell friends and family. So, I got to work thinking. I came up with a million ideas, but I knew I couldn't do them all! So I settled on the following.

But first, some background information: Steve & I met in high school and after school almost everyday, he had baseball practice. Because he went to the private school in my town, I was able to drive over and leave special treats in his car when he was at practice. I'd leave candy bars, notes I wrote throughout the day, pictures, etc. Just little things to let him know that I was thinking of him. Over our 6 year history together, I found ways as often as I could to show him that I loved him and was thinking of him always. I would do scavenger hunts to find birthday presents, surprise birthday parties, 365 Hershey kisses complete with reasons on each why I love him, etc.
The night before I found out, I made a delicious, candle-lit dinner and we talked about how much we loved each other, how happy we are together, and all the sweet things we used to do for one another. It was a romantic evening, perfect for a prelude to the surprise I got the next morning!

How I Surprised Steve: Because the setting was so perfect from the night before, I settled on a scavenger hunt. Once Steve got home from work, he was greeted with a note on our door that read: "Scavenger Hunt! Remember our conversation last night about the sweet things I used to do for you? Here's something sweet for a new memory."
He was excited (as he always is for my little surprises) and didn't even take off his shoes before he was ready to start the hunt! So, I handed him the first clue which read:
"Something's wrong with the oven--there's a smell coming from there. Will you check inside for me?"
He immediately walked to the oven and opened the door. Inside he found a cinnamon bun.

(This was his first clue, but he had no idea!) He happily grabbed the bun and exclaimed, "Thanks, babe! I'm starving!" And with that, he sat down at the table and started eating the bun! (AH!) I was so anxious for him to keep searching that I almost burst while he ate! Finally, he finished and read the clue that came with the bun, which read "What's our new favorite game?" He smiled and walked to the place we keep our games and pulled out the Scrabble Box. He opened the lid and smiled when he read it:

"That's so sweet, babe!" He kissed me and while that was his second - and what I thought was  very obvious - clue, he still had no idea whatsoever. The next clue read "Check where we spend our nights dreaming of what the future holds." So, he walked to the bed and found this underneath a pillow.

The note read, "Before you open your present, kiss your wife anywhere she requests." He happily turned to me and kissed my lips. I pointed to my neck, and after he obliged, I pointed to my stomach and my heart started pounding. He lifted up my shirt and a huge smile spread across his lips.

He got the last clue pretty quickly! He stood up and hugged me tighter than he ever has before and started laughing because I wrote "hello, daddy" across my stomach. "So I assume that's the positive test?" he pointed to the 'present.' I nodded, with tears in my eyes.

I don't think the surprise could have gone any better! It all happened quickly, but it was such a beautiful and memorable event that I know Steve & I will cherish for the rest of our lives. We spent the rest of the evening talking excitedly about the possibilities that lie ahead, and our fears of a miscarriage or stillbirth happening again. But, we decided the best thing to do is to be positive and let God and nature take care of the rest.

Baby Lauer: we already love you so much! Even though you're a tiny speck right now, our hearts have grown by leaps and bounds in the week that we've known about you. You have given us more hope and excitement than you can possibly imagine - you are such a beautiful blessing. I promise to take care of myself so that you have a great place to live and grow in for the next 8 months. Just promise you'll stay healthy and take your time - mommy and daddy will be anxiously awaiting your arrival in 2011.

Great Expectations

Expectations: the act or state of looking forward or anticipating; a prospect of future good.
Expecting: to anticipate the birth of ones child; to be pregnant with a due date of February 3, 2011.

If you hadn't guessed it by now, WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

This amazing news came 4 short months after our first child was stillborn in January. And while we still mourn her loss, we are looking with hopeful eyes towards the future.

How I Found Out: Steve and I decided after losing our daughter that we wouldn't prevent anything, as my doctor told me it might be best to allow my body to regulate my hormones naturally without the pill, but that we wouldn't actively try (ie-counting days, using ovulation kits, etc.). We decided to leave it in God's hands and let things happen naturally, and surprise! He decided not to keep us waiting long!

The news came at the end of a very long, hectic, but wonderful couple of days: We packed up our apartment at Purdue and moved (by ourselves) with a cargo van to a new apartment in Chicago. While this seemed like a good--and cheap!--idea at the time, we quickly learned that it was exhausting and difficult. After literally moving nonstop for about 24 hours, 50 elevator rides, locking the ONLY set of keys in the cargo van, waiting over an hour for AAA to save us, 2 trips to Chicago and 2 return trips to Purdue, we decided we needed more driving and moving! The next morning, Steve drove to Indianapolis (about an hour away) to pick up a weight set he bought off Craigslist, drove back to Purdue, picked me up along with a few odds and ends, drove to Chicago to drop some things off, unpacked for an hour or so, got back in the car and made an 8 hour road trip home to Ohio. (Phew!)

That weekend, I was in a friend's wedding, so I got up early the next morning and was off getting my dress altered, attending the bachelorette party, making floral arrangements, running errands, making chocolate covered strawberries by the millions, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner--you know, the typical duties of a bridesmaid. After the wedding was over, Steve and I were beyond exhausted but made our trip BACK to Chicago and collapsed.

The first night we spent in our new place was good, but I awoke the next morning with a migraine. This pattern continued for the next week and I had one so badly that I could barely move from the bed except to run to the bathroom to get sick. Having battled with these my whole life, I wasn't too off put by the sickness, but Steve knew something was up. (Especially because my period was still a week away and my breasts were swollen and unusually tender). He kept kidding with me telling me "oh you're just pregnant, stop whining!" I, of course, didn't believe him and he, I don't think, didn't believe himself either! I kept putting the idea out of my head and ignoring the now obvious signs.

Finally, the morning of May 27th (the start date of my period), I allowed myself to daydream while laying in bed trying to get over the migraine that had yet again graced me upon waking. I kept my eyes closed while I fantasized about what my husband kept joking about with me." Could I be pregnant? No, I dare not let myself dream. But if I am, I wonder how far along, or when the baby might be due." My lips involuntarily drew upwards in a great big smile as my heart started beating faster. My eyes fluttered open and I walked dizzily towards the bathroom where I pulled out a pregnancy test from the arsenal we had acquired over the past several months. I took the test groggily and kept telling myself "you're not pregnant, don't be disappointed." I set the test down and looked at it a moment, read the package for what means pregnant and went to the kitchen to get breakfast. A few minutes later, I realized the test was just waiting in the bathroom to tell me the news. I finished eating and with my heart skipping a beat I looked down at the white plastic stick. There, in front of my eyes, was a faint blue line in the results window. For a few minutes, I stopped--my head stopped thinking, my heart stopped beating, everything was quiet, and the world started spinning around me as I unknowingly started jumping up and down, giggling, and crying.

Because the line was faint, I immediately ran to the Internet and started researching whether this meant I was pregnant or if it was a bad test. Everything I read from experts said that I was more than likely pregnant but to wait a few days and test again to make sure. If you know me at all, you know there is no way I could keep from telling Steve for a few days--absolutely no way! So, I kept researching and dreaming and hoping. The rest of my day was spent smiling nonstop, researching possible due dates, where the baby is developmentally, and planning.

God knows what you need and when you need it. Although Steve and I have been through a heartbreaking, gut wrenching couple of months this year, it looks like 2010 will turn out to be a blessed and beautiful year after all! God could not have planned for me to find out at a better time than that day. Even though I questioned so many things because of our devastating loss, my faith has been restored because of that faint blue line on a piece of plastic.